What Just Happened?!

This could potentially turn into a super long (and painful, for me anyway) post about my travels this past week...or as I like to call them the "comedy of errors that wouldn't quit"...so I'll try to sum it up in as few words as possible. But still get my point across.

Monday - flight from LAX to MEM (1619 miles) - slightly delayed, no real issues

Tuesday - long day of work, but no traveling!

Wednesday - flight from MEM to ATL (446 miles) - quite delayed...land in ATL approximately 10 minutes before my next flight was supposed to take off. Plane didn't wait for me...and 11 other people! I ran my heart out to that damn gate...but to no avail. Proceeded to the customer service desk for Delta, where I acted like a b-word and skipped to the front of the line (legit because of my status, but still seemed a little mean). Best they could do for me? A flight to Portland at 5pm on Thursday...sorry, not gonna work. Consolation prize? A flight to Salt Lake City (1589 miles), where I would have to spend the night. (Luckily a 1st class ticket) Not a single itinerary could get me into Portland on Wednesday night after I missed my connection. Lindsay = highly un-amused. Spend night in Salt Lake City....go to bed tired and crabby, but feeling fine.

Thursday - wake up at 5:45am for flight to Portland...but horribly nauseous. Throw up in hotel bathroom. Decide there's no way I could fly then. Go back to bed for 2 additional hours. Get up again...throw up again. A-ha! Got something out that time...start feeling better. Call Delta...obviously missed my 8:40am flight, but they put me on the 4:40pm flight to Portland. I rest a little more, and eat some crackers, and suck it up and take that flight (630 miles). (I'm pretty sure when I told the flight attendant my seat-back pocket didn't have a barf bag and I'd like one...all my flight-mates freaked out...kind of fun to cause that!)

Friday - get to attend work training, which is awesome. Great coworkers around, learned good stuff, hang out in Lake Oswego....all good stuff. Head to airport with 3 fabulous coworkers...all of us (and our luggage) crammed into a 2-door Ford Mustang. Priceless. Get to airport...somehow Delta cancelled the last leg of my trip...the PDX to LAX leg...i.e. get-to-go-home leg!!! Hang out at counter working with Alaska Air rep long enough that I miss the flight I was SUPPOSED to be on. They can't get me on another flight to LAX that night...but I could go stand-by...really?! Consolation prize? A flight to Orange County Airport instead. (884 miles) Now, normally I would have said "that is unacceptable" and fought until I got on that last LAX flight for the night. However, I happened to be traveling with a great friend, who was actually on that flight. So I happily obliged. Sweet WL offered to cart my sorry butt from Orange County back to my place in Santa Monica (thanks WL, I owe you one!). We then killed some time at the airport before the flight with one other coworker...my dinner consisted of french fries and dirty martinis. WL and I then boarded our flight...got a whole exit row to ourselves...and proceeded to have quite a nice little flight home. Not my original plan, but could have worked out way worse.

So if you didn't do that math, let me do it for you - that's 4 of 5 days this work week that I was on planes...and a grand total of 5,168 miles flown in those days. I also stayed in 3 different hotel rooms, went through airport security 4 times, and a partridge in a pear tree.

I...am...exhausted. I once again lived up to the nickname my parents gave me years ago...the S**T Magnet. Can't even argue. It's totally true. Luckily though, the end of the work week was fabulous, and I got to do some great stuff. Still was a great week...totally crazy...but still enjoyable. I really am George Clooney.