Makin' it Weird

Sometimes I just want to make it through a check-out lane in peace. Sometimes I don't want the cashier rummaging through my stuff anymore than he/she has to to ring things up. Especially when it's a guy. And he's approximately 20 years old. To my check-out friend at the Tigard, OR Target...why did you have to make things so weird this evening?!

I was trying to check out in peace, and part of my purchase was new pantyhose (blah) for work. My coworker, JP, swears by this certain brand so I figured I'd finally give them a try. Before we get to the exchange between Mario and me, here's the visual for you:
Mario - "Whoa. Look at that!"
Me - "What?"
Mario - "These." (he puts his finger right on the butt of the pantyhose model)
Me - "What about them?"
Mario - "That's crazy. It doesn't even look like she has anything on at all! When you wear these it'll look like you don't have anything on!"
Me - "Um...yeah, pretty crazy."
Mario - "Maybe you'll forget you have them on then and you'll think you forget to wear them."
Me (in my head) - "Forget I have them on?! Obviously you've never experimented and tried them on...they are impossible to forget about! Clearly invented by some A-hole man who thinks he's hilarious."
Me (out of my mouth) - "So what's my total?"
Mario - "Is this making you uncomfortable?"
Me - "Kind of, yes."
Mario - "Sorry. It wasn't meant to. I'm sure you'll love these and look great in them."
Me (in my head) - "Aaaaggghhhhhhh!!!"
Me (out of my mouth) - "Do you take American Express?"

Ugh. Why do people have to make situations so weird? I get uncomfortable really easily sometimes. I think people just pick up on that and try to capitalize on it. Not cool.

Although I could have been buying much worse. Part of me wants to go back to that Target tomorrow, make sure Mario is working, and then check out in his lane again, but this time buying tampons, Ex-Lax, an eye mask, K-Y, rope, WD-40, duct tape, marshmallows, chocolate sauce, and a Slinky. I'd probably be sweating profusely from discomfort. But it would be worth it, since I'm pretty sure Mario's head would explode.