Politically Incorrect Adult Novelties - Day Three

Compared to days one and two of this journey, I have to say that day three was probably the least eventful. And that is totally fine by me. The less eventful days on a cross-country roadtrip are, the better.

We started off on the wrong foot though this morning - it was NOT our fault, however. All we needed to do was jet back onto I-40 East. All these guys needed to do was plan ahead for turning this beast off the off-ramp from I-40. They failed miserably...and then, as a result, so did we:

You know those giant wind fan thingys that you often see on the sides of highways? In the picture above is just one of those blades, on a flat bed truck. They are way bigger than I would have ever imagined...and I guess bigger than the driver imagined too. He literally got stuck trying to make this turn, and ended up blocking the entrance to I-40 for more than 25 cars (including the good ole Budget truck)....for over 45 minutes. Really?! You couldn't have anticipated that issue, sir? It's a giant blade and truck, and a super tight turn. Simple math, I would have thought. Gggrrrrrrrrrr.

That was the most annoying occurrence of the day, by far. What was the most fun one, you ask? It was definitely one of our gas station bathroom stops. We found probably the funniest vending machine I've ever seen....shown here:

"Assorted Adult Surprises!" How creepy does that sound? But that's not even the best part. They are all "politically incorrect".....and if you can make out the print, you will see that it includes the "New Bin Laden Condom." ......huh?! What the hell is a Bin Laden condom?! My mom and I cracked up about this machine, and that item in particular, forever after that. We were SO tempted to put in 75 cents so we could find out what that was....but then we figured that would immediately put us into a different class of people. (And don't go thinking I was the one who found this machine...my mama is the one who found it and showed me! She's so freaking cool.)

Key stats from day three of the journey:

* Number of miles traveled - 640.1

* Total miles now traveled on overall trip - 1990.8

* Miles left for tomorrow morning - approximately 200

* Number of stops at Taco Bell Express - only 1 (thank goodness, because I wanted to stop at least 4 times today...I have no idea why)

* Number of times I got too agressive topping off the gas tank and ended up spilling gasoline all over my left foot, ankle, and shoe - once (d'oh)

* Number of times semis flashed their headlights at me while driving tonight - 3 (Um yeah...those tail lights that broke yesterday and caused all that trouble, and then got fixed by Steve the mobile mechanic, to the tune of $100 for Budget, and an hour and a half of our travel time? Yeah, they went out again tonight....no joke.)

* Number of jerk semis who played 'chicken' with me tonight - 2 (seriously, I despise those two guys...I kept thinking about flipping them off or trying to moon them...but then remembered that they could easily run me off the road...not worth it)

* Number of iced coffees consumed post-10:00pm that are keeping me awake at 1:00am to even be able to type this - 1 (big mistake...)

Well, tomorrow is the big day. We should be pulling into the Windy City right around 12:00pm, and the movers will be immediately moving all my stuff in, and that will be that. So close now! Just one more short leg of the trip. We can do it...we can do it...