Monday, April 4, 2011

So...confused....

Is it possible to be right AND misguided at the same time? About the same thing? I sort of hope so (although it's not an ideal situation), because that is exactly how I am feeling at the moment. So basically I'm looking for justification for it, and for confirmation that I'm not totally insane. A tall order, I know!

My weekend back in good 'ole Chapel Hill was simply wonderful. It felt incredible to be back there, and to see all my amazing friends (who I miss very much when I am not there), and hang at all the old haunts...Southern Village, Brixx, The Crunkleton, Carolina Cafe, Alta Springs (the pool in particular), and of course Bub's. And absolutely to see my baby girl - sweet Lalo! I finally got to see her beautiful face and give her lots of doggy-mama love. It was pure bliss. No more question mark on the end of "coming home" - it should really have been a period. Or an exclamation point.

So many things came rushing back to me upon my return. A whole mix of different emotions, which was about what I was expecting. The majority of those were just happiness, excitement to be back, impatience to see all my friends right away...really just good stuff. But mixed in there were some weird "remembering my past life" kind of feelings. I guess it's probably natural to have some of that upon a return like that, and after having been gone a significant amount of time, but it's definitely left me feeling a little unsettled coming off of the weekend. Today has been filled with travel (flight to Chicago), work (meeting with my boss, leading a new hire training class all afternoon, and then trying to catch up on other stuff from about 6:30pm until now - 11:00pm), and then mostly thinking a lot about everything that happened this weekend, and how it actually makes me feel. I guess I need a good day or two (or maybe a week) to really process and figure it out...but for the moment it's left me pondering that question - whether or not it's possible to be right/doing the right thing, but also be misguided/not exactly doing the right thing at the same time. That probably makes no sense to anyone else...but give me another day or two and I might be able to actually put my thoughts into English. I'm trying.

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