Dear Chick-fil-A...

...you piss me off. Royally.

I already dislike you because you are openly anti-gay. Excuse me...who do you think you are?! Even though I already hadn't set foot in a Chick-fil-A for over a year, I swore it off upon learning that anyway. Um, you are a chicken-serving fast food restaurant. I know you think you're extra close to God because you aren't open on Sundays...but give us a break. You have no business getting involved in something as important (and currently messed up) as that. Just make your stupid chicken sandwiches and milkshakes, and hush up.

But after today, I am extra furious at that place. All of my coworkers had to have Chick-fil-A for lunch today...even the girl that brought her lunch today was going along and going to eat it there so she could be with everyone. I did not plan ahead and bring my lunch...so what was I to do? I decided to go with the gang (I didn't want to miss out on all the inevitable laughs that we share everyday at lunch!)...but I was disgruntled. I did a bit of moaning and whining to make my point...but eventually shut up.

I believe most anyone reading this knows that I don't eat any meat anymore (1 year and 3 months, and going as strong as ever!). So this presents a tricky situation at a chicken-focused place. I simply ordered the southwest salad with chicken...MINUS the chicken. Not that hard, right? Wrong. You would have thought I ordered fried alien for lunch. It took almost an additional 15 minutes just to get the order officially placed...yeah. The register guy had to call over his manager to work through this puzzle. They eventually figured out how to ring it up, and placed a "red flag" on the order (I'm not joking), whatever the heck that means. And throughout this dysfunctional process, they gave me funny looks and asked me multiple times if I was "sure I didn't want the chicken"...I almost lost it.

I eventually got my lunch, and it was okay, at best. I am for real swearing off Chick-fil-A this time. Ignorant, judgemental, sassy to non-meat-eaters, and food that's not even that good. No thanks. I'd rather eat cardboard.

"South Beach, Bringin' the Heat"

I mean, what can I really say about Miami that isn't already known? It's beautiful, hip, sunny, fun, glamourous, fabulous, yada yada yada. Will Smith told us everything we'll ever need to know about it in his kick-butt hit "Miami" from 1998.

I don't want to be TOO obvious with what I write about my trip here...such as, I get to have fun with this guy:

And holy cow...isn't it lovely here?!

So instead, I thought I'd focus on all the cool/weird/funny/HILARIOUS things I've seen while spending a few glorious days here. Enjoy.

1. Fontainebleau Hotel (and giant beach complex) - thank goodness my brother reminded me that this is the hotel where Whitney Houston put the moves on Kevin Costner in "The Bodyguard." Whew...I might have missed a real special moment being there otherwise!

2. 16 years ago this March, my family set sail for the Bahamas on the Carnival Ecstasy cruise ship (amazing time was had by all!) out of the Port of Miami...my brother and I just so happened to see that very same ship heading out to sea on Saturday. (It was moving faster than I would have thought...this is the best photo I could get!) Much reminiscing followed...."Remember when we pretended it was your birthday at dinner so you'd get a flaming cake and the staff would sing to us?" and "Remember when I fell down that flight of stairs on the way to dinner when we hit a giant wave?!"

3. It's a little tough to see in my picture here, but apparently Feb. 13 is International Condom Day...which this little plane proudly proclaimed over Miami Beach...over and over again. Seems a little strange that this "holiday" is the day before Valentine's Day, doesn't it? Maybe we should just merge those 2 together to make things more efficient...

4. Although, after seeing this pharmacy that proudly proclaims they provide "Free HIV Testing Daily," maybe International Condom Day really should get its own 24 hours to spread the word. (How gross does this place look?)

5. We stumbled upon this guy meditating on the beach...and instead of thinking "What a great idea...good for him," I proceeded to make fun and break into yoga poses. I think I got a few chuckles from other passers-by, but blue shirt was waaaaaaay too deep into his meditating to notice.

6. This might be my favorite from the whole trip so far...a place called Pleasure Emporium (yes, it's exactly what you think it is), blatantly displays a neon sign that says "Parking in Rear." Does anyone else think that's either the cleverest placement or the best mistaken placement of info ever?!

7. On Ocean Drive in South Beach, there are a few super cool, old cars that are just parked permanently for people to check out...this one is the creepiest though, as it has a statue that I think is supposed to be James Dean (?) in it, and every single time we went by it I got scared. You'd think after the 6th time I'd remember he was in there...

8. Miami Sailing Week is coming up. And it's main sponsor is Bacardi. Um...really?! I feel like Miami shouldn't be promoting alcohol and sailing together...but that's just me.

Ahhhhh, life...there are so many entertaining things all around us each and every day. I try really hard to pay attention to my surroundings so I can catch all these amazing things!! Thanks for so many great moments, Miami...you are pretty wonderful!! I already can't wait for my next trip to see you.

Bar Crawl!!

Better known as...return to college.

I am about a week behind in writing about this...but it's way too amazing to not address. Last weekend, one of my friends had her birthday celebration. To celebrate her 27th, AM decided she wanted to do a car crawl all over Santa Monica...with a theme. Dress code? "Golf Pros and Tennis Hos" - no, I'm not kidding. And we all obliged. Who would argue with the birthday girl?!

I'm not sure any of us remember for sure how many or which bars we went to...or how many drinks we had...but it doesn't matter. We all had the best time ever together! And 9 hours of drinking also taught us many lessons:

1. Sometimes cab rides can be almost as much (or more) fun than the actual destination.

2. When people put sunglasses on inside a bar, their attitudes grow exponentially. (I've never seen LM and JR look tougher or meaner)

3. Great girlfriends are the best.

4. Beer + testosterone = push-up contest in a bar.

5. Some bars have posted laws that say "No Sports Wear Allowed." We went in anyway. I guess no one noticed?

6. Finger pointing helps make any point stronger.

7. I REALLY love dogs. So much that I hug them whenever I see them.

8. ....and apparently sometimes think about kissing them?

9. A bar DOES exist where every hour is happy hour! Unfortunately, you still don't get happy hour prices 24 hours a day...weird. (And apparently WL just stands around in modeling poses so he's always ready for a photo-op such as this)

10. Sometimes you bend over and show your bloomers...and get caught.

11. Any excuse to have a dress-up theme and drink all day is a legit one.

12. More beer + more testosterone = pull-up contest at different bar.

13. Bartenders will leave their posts to come have a quick golf lesson.

14. Boys are silly.

15. If you have a golf club, but no golf balls...bar limes work just as well. (See the next one sitting on the sidewalk just waiting to get whacked across Main Street?)

16. LK takes her work as the tally girl VERY seriously.

17. We'll take any chance to pose for pics that we can.

I'm going to just go ahead and say it...we don't have nearly enough bar crawls. There's nothing quite like spending all day bar-hopping with great friends, in paradise where it's sunny and 75, acting ridiculous, eating rum cake out of Ziplocs (thanks to AM for having her purse stocked), having one person wearing a whistle and blowing it to give 10 minute warnings at each bar, dancing in the streets, and laughing at everything. Aaahhhhhh, good times.

Make...Brain...Rest...

As many of you know, I was wonderfully excited to be working in Portland, OR this week...there are many reasons to be excited about that, but the biggest for me was the gift of being able to work in my home time zone for a week - JOY! I had grand plans for actually getting decent sleep during this week on the road because for once my body wouldn't be totally confused about where it was, what time it was supposed to sleep, and why I was waking it up at what it felt to be 3:00am (like it is when I'm working on the east coast).

But alas...night #1 last night = fail. I went to bed at about 9:30pm, which I know seems early, but I was still in major recovery mode from a 9 hour bar crawl the previous afternoon/evening. (Tons of fun...I'm still rounding up pictures...soon to come) I slept solidly for a bit, and then woke up feeling like I was still exhausted, but also like it was time to get up. Um, nope. It was 1:18am. I then proceeded to toss and turn and fidget and groan until about 6:15am when I got up. Dark circles under eyes? Check.

I love, respect, and appreciate my body...but seriously...what the hell?! Why can I still not sleep well even when I'm totally exhausted and spent, have a full belly (awesome dinner with my boss last night), and am in my own time zone? What more does it want to just sleep?!

I have a hunch it's my age old can't-turn-my-brain-off-ever problem. I just have so many things going on right now, that my mind just never stops spinning. But how does a person fix that problem? Is it even fixable? Aside from knocking myself unconscious with a sledge-hammer...what can I do?! I so desperately need some rest!

Better Late Than Never

Please don't point out that it is January 25 today. I am most certainly aware. I know...I'm a little behind the times on setting my new year's resolutions. But my goal was to do it within the first month of the year...so I guess technically I already achieved one of them! BAM.

My Resolutions for 2011

1. Drink more water (I resolve to do this every, single year...and yet, I continue to spend an unacceptable amount of my life dehydrated...)
2. Eat in a healthier manner CONSISTENTLY (and this doesn't just mean to eat salads all day every day...I actually mostly eat healthy food...but rather to eat good food, and enough food, and at a normal and consistent rate...2010 put me in too many instances of people asking if I was "okay" and "eating enough" and what-not...for me, being super busy/being stressed/going through life changes/being too social = often forgetting to eat...I'd like to do better with that this year...especially since the excitement shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon!)
3. Stay focused on my career (I am madly in love with my job, and my company...and 2011 has the potential to even be my best year yet! I have the best boss anyone could ask for, the most incredible coworkers, I get to travel all over the place and have amazing experiences, my company respects, values, supports, and takes great care of me, and I am lucky enough to be able to personally influence, mentor, guide, support, and encourage people on a daily basis...how did I get this lucky?!)
4. Continue to figure out who the heck I am (I have learned more about myself in this past year than I probably even realize, and I am so happy for that...I am in the incredible position of being able to really focus on ME...I was able to pick up and move to Los Angeles just because I wanted to, I settled in/got comfortable/made-and-refound friends at an unbelievable rate, while home I can walk 6 blocks to the beach whenever I feel like it, I am in a financial position to do pretty much anything I want whenever I want, and I don't have to cater to anyone else. I am proud to know that when I turn 30...don't worry, that's still a ways away!...I will have really used my 20s to find out who I am as an adult. And not a 22-25 year old "adult"...but a REAL adult. I lost a little bit of time in there, but I'm more than making up for it now.)
5. Don't do anything or be in any situation just because I think I "should" or just because it "seems right"... (probably 'nuff said there)
6. Get. More. Sleep. (I have a perpetual problem of letting my schedule get way too full...with work, with travel, with friends, with social commitments, yada yada yada...and while I love my life 'o fun, my poor body can't keep up with me forever. I must aim for at least 7 hours a night. I must.)
7. Continue to laugh every, single day (I think I laugh more as a 28 year old woman than I ever did before...life is amazing, and humorous, and often ironic, and meant to be really experienced and not taken too seriously...it feels GREAT to laugh.)
8. BE GRATEFUL...every hour of every day (I am truly blessed. I have the best family, who loves me, supports me, and is okay with anything I do, as long as I'm happy...even when I want to move 3000 miles away for awhile. I have incredible friends, without whom I can't imagine my life. Amazing job (see #3). I have my health, livelihood, freedom, and a sense of humor. And I'm only 28 years old...God willing, I've got the vast majority of my life still ahead of me. I am truly thankful for everything that I have, and I need to make sure that's at the front of my mind every day.)

2010 was a monumental year for me, in many ways...lots of change, lots of discovery, lots of stress, but also tons of fun. I had to make many decisions for myself...many quite large, and many incredibly difficult. But I am proud of the choices I made. Everything in 2010 happened the way it was meant to, and it brought me to the place I am currently in...and I believe that place is at the very beginning of a fabulous year. I've got my arms wide open for 2011...I can't wait to see what's in store for me.

Me...Scary?!

Pure hilariousness. Today was my first day with the current new hire class for work - I teach them this week, manage them from multiple locations next week, and then teach them again the week after that. They didn't get to meet me until today for the first time, but I sent out a welcome email last week, that also included some of my expectations for them for the next few weeks, and then a bunch of pre-work for them to do before today.

Here's the funny part - we all went out to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner (a group of 21, wowzas!), and after a superb afternoon with them all (really, really great...energetic, fun, we bonded...), they admitted to me at dinner that they were incredibly relieved when they met me right away today and realized I was "fun, nice, not scary." What?! Apparently I sounded very serious, and basically terrifying, in my first email to them (and I'm sure all the assignments didn't help!). Maybe this really isn't that funny, but knowing myself and my teaching style, I find it hilarious that these 19 people spent a couple of days worrying about meeting me, pleasing me, and living up to my expectations. I mean, maybe it's good to instill a little fear in them when they're first starting...but still...I kind of think I'm one of the least scary people around...right?!?!

I'm sure the fact that I give every participant in my class a nickname helped ease the situation pretty quickly too. I haven't dubbed everyone quite yet (I put thought in my nicknames), but here are some that are already set after our first afternoon/evening together - G-train, E, Jiffy Pop, Broom Ball, A-dog, Jewel, and T-pain. So there are 13 left to deem.

They picked up on this right away and decided to come up with a nickname for me as well...they said they'd still like to think some more, but the first attempt for me was "Biebs" because they think I have Bieber fever. Oy vey.

A 6-Year Love Affair...

....and his name, is Stockamp.

Today marks a pretty monumental life landmark for me. It is the 6-year anniversary of the day I started working for my company. And boy, what a 6 years it has been. I am a far cry from the 22 year old that walked into that office in Lake Oswego, OR on January 10, 2005. I had just graduated from college (which was strange for me because I was a semester ahead of all my classmates, and felt a little "on my own," though also very excited), packed up all my belongings, moved to New York City, and then was starting my first real job. All of those things happened in a span of 21 days. My head was spinning just a bit.

I could write for days about all that I have been through and experienced in the past 6 years (and it would be endless fun reliving the awesomeness of working for Stockamp), but alas, I don't quite have time for that. So instead, I thought I'd do a quick synopsis of my day today...as it has been a perfectly fitting anniversary day for a traveling consultant.

The story technically starts yesterday, around 10:00am EST. My flight for 24 hours later (Atlanta to LA) already gets cancelled...as do hundreds of others. Delta automatically rebooks me...but not until Tuesday afternoon. That's not gonna fly. (Pun intended) So I call the lovely special phone number for people with status, and talk the nice man into putting me on the 3:05pm EST today instead. I had dinner with 3 friends last night...and 3 of the 4 of us were all in the same boat for this morning. But that's fine...that just allowed us to relax, and hang out longer into the night! I can deal with that.

Well, we monitored all the flights very closely all last night and today...because more and more flights were getting cancelled nonstop. But still, this 3:05pm flight showed as "on-time." Gotta stay positive, gotta stay positive...

Actually getting to the airport was a whole other hurdle that we hadn't quite anticipated fully. Atlanta was pretty much in a state of emergency from the snow and ice that had completely blanketed the city and surrounding areas. We had to drive to the airport at no more than 12 MPH the entire way...including on the interstate. We felt like road warriors as we got closer and closer to ATL, and eventually arrived in one piece.

Upon arrival at the airport, here is what we were greeted with:



Yeah. So unless your destination is LA (our one measely flight), Allentown, PA, Bloomington, IL, Cairo, or Columbia, SC...you're pretty much up a creek with no paddle, and barely even a boat. (Ok, yes there were a few additional options, but it was seriously slim pickins'...I can't remember the last time I saw so much red print on a departures board)

We walked right up to the security line....NO one else was there! And folks, this is ATL. So the security line is never empty...not even at 3:00am on a Tuesday. It's always nuts.

And then the terminals were like ghost towns too. Barely anyone anywhere. Very odd...and a little creepy even. And when was the last time you saw this?

Yes, that's Hartsfield Jackson with ZERO plane traffic. It's the world's busiest airport...but throw down a few inches of snow and some ice, and everything stops. NO movement. I obviously had to capture on film because it's almost too crazy to believe.

Anyway, we made our way to the Sky Club lounge to hang out a bit before the flight. Then went and boarded the plane (first class upgrades!), and then sat on the plane at the gate for about 1 hour and 20 minutes. They finally closed the plane door, and then we taxi-ed out and sat on the runway for about another 40 minutes, waiting for our plane to get de-iced. After that? #1 for take-off, of course...there were no other planes as competition! Go Flight 592, go!!

And here I sit, almost 40,000 feet in the air. Just anxious to get home after the last 32 hours of travel madness. Although tons of people ended up way worse off than me...I got off pretty easy in the grand scheme of things. I guess it was my anniversary present from the travel fates.

Here's to another 6 years of bettering hospitals, and patient experiences, and flying all over the darn place, and certainly to having incredible amounts of fun with some of the best people around!! Cheers.